just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize