We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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