why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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