I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
