he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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