yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
