Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
