pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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