Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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