Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
