After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
not ubering you a puppy
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
