I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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