He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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