i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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