Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
