I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
