It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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