So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
