just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
