I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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