she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
