He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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