she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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