Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
