Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
