dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
