so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
