he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
