His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
