After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
