i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
