Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
