just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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