and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
