No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
