I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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