My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
