Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
