It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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