I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
True college students do jello shots in the library
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
