Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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