im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Someone signed my nipple.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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