if only i could text you this smell
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
