not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
