I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
