I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
