It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
