So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
