All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
