ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
