This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
