porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
