She announced her abortion via fbk
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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