you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
