IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
