when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
