Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
