IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
