and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
